


A Bit of Sweetness

by Auriana Valoria (AuriV1)



Series: The Lady Herald and Her Lion [13]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Funny, Humor, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 22:08:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11322681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuriV1/pseuds/Auriana%20Valoria
Summary: Sera manages to convince Cullen to play a prank on the Inquisitor.





	A Bit of Sweetness

“No.”

“Oh, come _on_!”

Cullen crossed his arms and closed his eyes in exasperation as he leaned back in his chair. “No, Sera,” he repeated firmly, trying not to grit his teeth with impatience at the elf’s pestering, “I am _not_ going to prank Verana.”

She rolled her eyes at him. “ _Pshh!_ Pull that cob out of your arse, would you, _Cully-Wully_?” He opened his eyes again and glared at her when the elf sing-songing the nickname she had so graciously bestowed upon him. But before he could tell her to get out of his office, she leaned forward into his desk and added, mischief glinting in her eyes, “I heard about what you did with her and the Nightingale’s favorite birdy, yeah? I know you have it in you, so no use pretending you don’t.”

Cullen’s lips pressed together. Of course she had heard. Who hadn’t? The word had spread like wildfire throughout Skyhold, just like they had intended, and, by grace of the Maker, the spying and eavesdropping had come to a complete halt. What he _hadn’t_ anticipated was Sera treating it like an opportunity to inject her own bright ideas into his relationship with the Inquisitor. As soon as she had perceived the stony façade of “uptightness” crack, she had inserted herself as if she had a right to be there.

“Sera,” he said slowly, as if speaking at such a pace would be easier for her to understand. “Even if, Maker forbid, I somehow wanted to do such a thing, I _can’t_. She is the Inquisitor. I am her Commander. I can’t-”

“Yeah, yeah, right. Just like you can’t snog her like you did at Halam-whatever,” she snorted derisively, pushing away from the desk again. “Or here. Or in the War Room. Or in the armory. Or-”

“ _Sera_ …”

The growl of warning actually seemed to get some sort of response, then, as she abruptly stopped and put her hands on her hips, a look of annoyance crossing her face. “I get it. It’s not the Inquisitor thing at all. Ser Was-A-Templar doesn’t want to make his Lady Sweetness angry at him. One little tiny fear stopping all the fun.”

He shook his head and focused on the quill in its inkwell in front of him. “Your idea of fun and mine are obviously two different things, Sera.”

“That’s the truth. Keep it up, and you’re gonna need bigger breeches. Because apparently you’re _all arse_.” After but a moment’s pause, she suddenly broke into a fit of uncontrollable giggling as she apparently pictured that very image in her head. Her face turned red and she doubled over, slapping a hand on top of the desk and threatening to knock his lighted candle into the pile of notes beside it.

He abruptly snatched the thing up and set it well out of harm’s way. “Sera, if you have nothing more to do, then _please_ -”

“All right, all right!” The elf held up her hands, taking a few shaking breaths to suppress her laughter. “Look…it’s _simple_. You don’t have to do things just to make people look around or get theirs, yeah? Sometimes, it means something different. Sometimes, after the ‘I can’t believe’ and ‘Oh what a mess’ you have a good laugh and then the _real_ fun starts.”

He noticed the mischievous grin spreading across her face, and he sighed heavily. “Dare I ask what exactly you mean?”

She smacked her hand to her forehead. “Hopeless. Absolutely hopeless.”

\------------------------------------

Maker, he wished Sera had just come out and said it to start with. Had he known she was just trying to help him spend more time with Verana – in a _good_ way – he might have agreed to her request much sooner.

As the smell of freshly baked bread wafted from the Inquisitor’s desk drawer, a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. It had been ingenious, really. Verana had been holed up in her quarters all day, catching up on reports and writing out orders, answering letters from concerned nobles, and checking ledgers. According to the servants Sera had overheard, she hadn’t eaten a bite since she had awoken that morning before dawn. She needed food, and needed someone to deliver it to her, but she wouldn’t ask the servants to do it or leave her quarters to get it herself.

Cullen knew how much Verana loved Cook’s honey rolls. They were pure warm comfort…crusty on the outside but feather-light inside, quite yeasty in flavor, and glazed with the thinnest layer of fine honey. Just the thought of them made him want to sneak one of the little treats for himself, but no one in all Skyhold could _ever_ stop at just one, and his friendly prank would be ruined.

He watched her carefully as he made a haphazard pile of crumbs atop the desk and put the empty platter aside, propping his feet up beside it to adopt a casual pose, reports in hand. She had fallen asleep sitting up in her bed, her head fallen to the side and her raven hair spilling down the headboard like a black waterfall. She was still in her nightgown, coverlet pulled up to her waist, a heavy book propped on her lap and a pile of notes and letters beside her. Her inkwell had nearly spilled onto the scarlet velvet, and he had made sure to stopper it before it fell over, bringing both it and her quill back to a safe place on her desk before beginning to set the stage…

She stirred, the smell of the bread no doubt waking her, and he quickly schooled his expression, focusing on the paper in front of him with brow furrowed. He heard her straighten, groaning as her stiff neck protested the movement, yawn, stretch…

“Cullen?”

He lifted his head slowly at her sleepy question. “Yes, love?”

Her brow furrowed, and she ran a hand through her adorably-mussed hair as she looked at him with drowsy amethyst eyes, “What…? She trailed and glanced to the window, noticing it was night. “What are you doing here so late?”

“Well,” he began, the response not precisely a lie, “Cook sent me up here. Word has it you haven’t been eating, and she made a little something to quell your hunger…”

Her eyes widened, and she put a hand to her stomach. “Maker, I’m starving! And I smell…wait…” she paused, and a bright smile lit up her face as she shoved the book aside, threw back the coverlet, and slid off the edge of the bed. “She made her famous honey rolls, didn’t she? Oh, I love those far too much for my own good. She’s such a dear for remembering-” she stopped mid-stride. “Why are you giving me that look?”

Her eyes fell from his face to the empty platter on the desk, and then slowly lifted back to his face again.

“You _didn’t_.”

He pretended to try and refocus on the paper he held. “Yes, well…you know how they are. And you know that I tend to go without eating as well when duty demands. And I _might_ have needed a little something to keep my stomach from digesting itself while waiting for you to wake up…”

“And you ate them all.”

He didn’t answer.

Her face fell, and for an instant he wished he hadn’t even considered Sera’s suggestion. The look she gave him broke his heart, and he had to fight to keep from ruining it all. Maker, why had he let himself be talked into doing something so uncharacteristically foolish? He would much rather have had her call him a gluttonous pig and set his hair on fire than give him a look like that.

“Cullen…how _could_ you?” she asked, and the tone of her question rent him even more inside. “I understand they’re irresistible…believe me, I do. And I understand you were hungry, and I don’t fault you for eating one or two. But… _all_ of them? How many were there? And you didn’t leave even _one_ for me?”

Not waiting for a response, she sighed and spun towards her wardrobe. “I suppose I’ll just have to raid the larder, then.”

While her back was turned, he slowly eased the desk drawer open, lifted the bundle that held the rolls inside, spread them back out on the platter, and, as quietly as possible, rose to his feet with it in hand.

“I have a better solution.”

She was busy thumbing through her blouses and didn’t even look back at him. “Oh, do you, now?” She answered flatly, obviously annoyed.

He gently tapped her on the shoulder and she whirled around, nearly knocking the plate out of his hands. But when she saw the half-dozen fresh, palm-sized rolls there, completely intact, she froze, and he could have pushed her over with a feather. As he waited with baited breath for her response, he felt as if he could just as easily have been offering his actual heart on the platter instead of mere rolls.

“You…what…oh, _Cullen_.” She put her head in her hand and shook it in disbelief.

He smiled gently, “And you can have them all to yourself.”

Verana promptly took the plate from his hands, moving to sit on the edge of the bed and putting it in her lap while giving him a wry smile and a chuckle. “You know, you really had me there, playing the careless hungry Commander. My, _my_ , what a prankster you’re becoming. Sera would be proud.”

“ _Damn right I am!_ ”

The sound of the rogue’s voice came from somewhere on the roof.

“I should thank her,” Cullen remarked, giving her his trademark smirk and watching as Verana picked up one of the small rolls between her thumb and forefinger. “It was she who gave me the convenient excuse I needed to come up here.”

“ _You_? Thank _Sera_?” Verana said incredulously through the bite she just took. She chewed, swallowed, and added, “Now I really do know the world is coming to an end.”

“Well,” he leaned closer, covering the hand she had propped on the bed with his own, “If it is, at least we have each other, right?”

Verana tossed the roll back on the pile and set the plate aside, scooting up next to him and curling her other arm around his neck to pull him nearer. Her blue-violet gaze was soft as she answered, “Yes. Yes, we do.”

She kissed him, then, and her lips tasted of honey.


End file.
